Body Work by Melissa Febos

Author:Melissa Febos
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Catapult
Published: 2022-01-04T00:00:00+00:00

2. Mom Goggles

When I finished editing my first book, I sent it to every member of my immediate family.14 I suggested that they wait until they’d finished reading it before we next spoke. I made no promises to change anything. I divulged in my email that while I had told them all that I’d worked as a professional dominatrix and that I was sober, there were details about both of those experiences in the book that they might find surprising and would almost certainly find distressing.

My mother called me immediately.

“Mom,” I said. “You’re not supposed to call me until after you’ve read the book.”

“No way,” she said. “I’m not going to read it, cringing the whole way through in anticipation of these details. Tell me what they are right now.”

I sighed. “I wrote an entire book because I couldn’t say these things out loud.”

“Too bad.”

So, I told her. It was not a conversation I’d wish on anyone—mother or daughter—though I am glad she insisted upon it. There are some details in a grown child’s life that no parent is meant to know, especially when that grown child has the kind of early adulthood pastimes that I had. Unfortunately, my writing career has made it impossible to spare my own parents.

The next morning at around 7:00 a.m., I was walking my dog when my phone rang.

“Mom! You’re supposed to finish the book before you call me.”

“I did,” she said. “I stayed up all night reading it. I kept turning the light off, but then I’d turn the light back on and keep reading.”

“But you know how it ends.”

“I still needed to know that you were going to be all right,” she said, shattering my heart into dust. “I’m so proud of you,” she added. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever read. It’s wonderful.”

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